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Monkey

This type of moped was originally intended to be a lifeboat for a car. For example, if your car would brake down, you would lift your trustworthy monkey out of the trunk and drive to the nearest mechanic. More commonly, at least in the northern hemisphere, these mopeds were used by teenagers, who wanted to look cool and get chicks. This particular moped (Monkey One) is abused by group of overgrown teenagers who want to race through Europe. And get chicks.

History

First monkeys came to markets in 1967. Back then hippies ruled, Beatles was still rockin' and Elvis was alive. All kinds of commie bastards crawled in our society causing havoc and unhappiness, except in the Soviet Union, which was workers paradise. First monkeys (the original ones) were manufactured by Honda. Somehow it is easy to see small asians driving around with these beauties, while less succesful asians stare them with envy from top of their riksas.

But japanese are bastards who tend to move forward and pass the old technology to some of the less developed countries in Asia. This is how Honda passed whole thing to Jincheng, who are either koreans or chinese (I don't care which and it is so hard to see the difference). I can imagine how the northern korean party activist sit and build monkeys for beautiful projects like DeathMonkey 2006 while children throw flowers and sing songs to praise the Beloved Leader. How wonderful their life must be.

Technology

Important parts of monkey:

1. Seat. Suitable either for one fullgrown male or for two midgets. Hairy accessory is not attached in the picture.
2. Gas tank. This is where all the gasolin goes in. Estimates of how much it takes and what kind of gasoline is suitable vary in different sources. My guess is 2l/100km and tank can probably hold around 4l.
3. Mirrors. There are two of them. Very handy.
4. Handbrake. As far as I know, this is the thing you stop your monkey with. Jumping off seems relatively good option as well.
5. Lamp. Directed about 3 meters ahead of the front wheel. This should give driver enough time to aim at squirrels and other small animals at the spotlight.
6. Steering column. If you want to hit something, steer towards it. Very simple. Think about 9/11.
7. Speedometer. Your groundspeed can be monitored from this device. Unfortunately it ends at 60km/h and you don't have to be much of a mechanic to go faster than that.
8. Wheels. These are between you and the road. Brilliant invention indeed.
9. Engine. 50cc of raw power. Roaring sound stuns all the females nearby and leaves them defenseless.
10. Kickstart. You kick and your monkey will start. Simple as that.
11. Exhaust pipe. Somehow the gasolin put into tank (2) turns to exhaust fumes. If you want to get just a fast thrill, you might want to abandon these and try out some homemade rockets.
    

Disclaimer: Joe Suicide has no clue of technology, motors, history or politics. All issues related to these will be solved by wrestling.