Death Monkey 2006: The Ultimate Rally: Archive

Joe: Two weeks after

It isn't easy to be a supermodel.

Or so we can presume, although still lacking the actual experience. I decided to give some thought to the Death Monkey project as a whole and sort it out here, as I've sorted it out in my head. Two weeks after finishing the rally some of its effects are still visible. Most notable on my personal habitus is the so called "drunken tanning", which means that while my forearms, shins and even face are relatively well tanned, rest of me is as white as Santa on having hangover  day after Christmas.

So every time I go to shower or admire my naked, sometimes oiled, body from the mirror, small voice starts asking questions like "What happened your summer holiday?" or "Why didn't you get laid more often?" or "Did you realise that you spent all your money on this ridiculous trip while you could have been drinking and whoring all summer, you miserable cunt?". When that voice wakes up somewhere deep inside of me, the conscious part of my mind reminds that it is great that my little voice is practically asthmatic after swallowing road dust all the way from Helsinki to Gibraltar.

Seriously it was a trip, which doesn't need any explaining afterwards. Although I really saw dreams about driving my monkey days after finishing our rally, there are still only two kinds of people. Cunts who will do the distance and cunts who don't. To those cunts who say "I'd really wanted to participate, BUT ..." I say: Fuck you. There are as many excuses as there are assholes. Everybody has one.

Bob and Skoll. Thank you both. It was an awesome ride and it wouldn't have been the same without you.

So what next? There are plenty of options where Suicide Surfers / Routa MC / Death Monkeys will go next. It might be Paska-G 2007 or roadtrip through South America with a white fucking cadillac or the legendary Mongol Rally from London to Ulan Bator. Who knows. Point is that we still have dreams and we are still ready to make them happen.

Thanks for everybody who followed our amok through Europe. You will hear about our next project. And you never know, maybe you guys don't have any excuses next time. But if you do, you'll still have to admit that

It isn't easy to be a supermodel.

Joe Suicide

El Presidente of Death Monkey MC